Santa no more

She doesn't believe in Santa anymore. :(

This came as a huge shock to me.  I'd been looking forward to doing elf-on-the-shelf this year and of course all the santa traditions.  When I found out she doesn't believe anymore, I was completely crushed.  I'm just not ready.

She sais "I know Santa isn't real because there is no such thing as flying reindeer."  I tried to respark the  wonder by pointing out that Santa is magic and he can make any reindeer fly - she played along, but in the end, no luck. She did say she wants to still do "all the stuff" and pretend for the fun of it.  That sounds good to me.

I can tell she feels good now that she's "in the know".

She's growing up.

And more beautiful by the day.

She woke up

The first thing she said was "I love you, mom." In her sweet, sleepy morning voice.
Those fleeting moments of tucking her in and waking her up are so special to me.
The other night at bedtime she said:
"Sometimes when you say goodnight and walk away, I cry a little because I miss you."
I told her- "So do I..." But I don't think she understands.
There is just never enough time to compensate for all the love I have.

Monkey hugs

Chloe's been giving the best monkey hugs lately!  She gets herself completely wrapped around and squeezes oh-so hard.  I love every second of it!!  Sometimes she hugs and hugs and says "I just can't get close enough!"  Me either.

Call from the principal

I got a call from Chloe principal just to tell us how wonderful she's doing in school!  She was nominated by her teacher for the call.  At school Chloe is very responsible and considerate and is excelling and really making a positive and lasting impression on everyone.  I'm so proud of her.

Another "reason"

Chloe said:
"Is there another reason for the word (I don't remember the word)"

I know she was asking if there was another meaning for the word- but I couldn't correct her. She messes up so few words these days, I just smile inside and enjoy her little-ness.

Healthy choices

At dinner time, Chloe was excited for seconds of kale. And asked for hemp hearts as an after dinner snack. T feels good when she's excited about healthy food.

Grumpy mommy

I got grumpy with Chloe today in the van. I didn't like how I sounded at all. So I pulled the van over and turned around to see her. I said "I'm sorry I got so grumpy with you. I don't want to talk to you that way."
She was sad about it and when I apologized she let her feelings show. She put her chin down and said softly. "When you said that, I felt like you didn't know me at all."
I froze. My mommy-heart broke a little. She was right. What I'd said had diminished her very real feelings. And one thing I know about Chloe, is that she's got very big feelings. Of course she felt like I didn't know her at all. I was acting like I didn't. Where did she get so much wisdom?
So I said: "I understand, and I'm sorry. I love you and I do know you- I just let my grumpiness get in the way." I was reaching back into her lap and holding her hand. She started reaching for me like she wanted a hug, but made do with squishing my hand to her cheek.

Then she threw a paper airplane at me, and giggled. I giggled to- I guess that means she forgives me.

Friendship bracelets

I taught Chloe to make friendship bracelets today. She picked it up really fast.
Together we made one for Abby.

Pitch white

Chloe said "Why is there a dog named 'spot' that is pitch white?"

Pitch white.
She's so adorable.

Broccoli at school

We've had a sort of deal with Chloe for a while now.  She knows that we would really like her to eat her vegetables at school.  Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't.  On the days that she doesn't eat them, she has them for dinner- or her after school snack.  This makes a lot of sense to her, and helps us prevent waste. 
We do try and put things in her lunch that she enjoys, not expecting her to really go out of her comfort zone at school.  So, we frequently ask her about her preferences, and she tells us if she thinks of something. 
Recently, she had some broccoli and carrots in her lunch.  She hadn't eaten them at school, so she was having them for dinner.  She asked if broccoli could not be one of the vegetables she got at school. No problem, she eats a fair amount of broccoli at home. 
The next day she was sitting in the counter and said to me- "Mom, I have an idea- How about you put broccoli in my lunch and each time I eat it, I can get two marbles.  That way you can teach me to eat my vegetables at school." 
I was so tickled at her saying this, the idea of her helping with ways to teach her how to be healthy.  I laughed out loud.  I didn't mean to, but I'd embarrased her.  When this sort of thing happens, she feels like I'm laughing at her.  I always feel so terrible.  I try to tell her I just love the way she thinks, and the things she says make me so happy I laugh sometimes.  Still, it doesn't feel good to her.  I try not to have "big" reactions to her precocious moments... but sometimes I just can't help myself. 
I think its a great idea, actually.  But I'm not sure if it is really teaching the "lesson" if she already knows the purpose.... but at any rate, it was her figuring out ways to make good choices and get more marbles.  And that's pretty good to me. 

I gave her carrots and broccoli in her lunch the next day.  She ate the broccoli and not the carrots.  And asked for her marbles.  I'm not sure why I think it's a little silly.... I guess there's no harm done. 

Neighborhood

Lately I'm loving our little neighborhood.  Chloe has a handful of friends right on our block and we are so close to her school.  We have some neighbors who are very friendly and we can ask to borrow things and help them out, too.  I feel good about Chloe "going out to play".  Life is good.

Friday night

Last night Abby made the "Best, most magical" home made Mac n Cheese! Then we had our matching ring-pop desserts while we watched a family movie- Matilda. Chloe loved the clever, smart, magical little girl. Magic abounds.

Chapter books

In the last few weeks Chloe has started reading chapter books. It's been wonderful to see a whole new world open up to her. She started with Bad Kitty books, and on to Judy Moody- which she is really into. And she's just started to read a Clementine book, so we'll see if she likes those, too. Of course I'm so excited I want to get her more and more... But I'll do my best to curb my consumerism and let her take the lead. I'll sit by beaming with pride as our second grader reads third grade books.

Correction: the book she is reading is is "Interest level: Grade 3-5, Reading level: Grade 4.5"
Mommy-pride feels good.

Vegetables

I told Chloe it's not me who wants her to eat her vegetables; it's her body.

Experts

Abby and Chloe have been doing a fair amount of baking/cooking together.  So, they are having a lesson on the kitchen aid mixer. 

After the mixing was done, Abby had to call in the experts for licking the tools.  We did a very thorough job. 

Keeping the picture

We agreed that this picture with sticks and stones will be hard to keep, so we talked about how we could remember it. Chloe had the idea to take some pictures of it and then recycle the rest.  We couldn't put the leaves back outside because they had paint on them, but the rest went back into nature. 

Second Grade meet-n-greet

I started this school year with a heavy heart.  Very heavy, to be honest.  Chloe's first day of school was Tuesday September 4th.  This was the first year that she was with her dad on the first day of school.  I did not get to take way too many pictures of her waking up, eating breakfast, and walking out the door with her chosen outfit on. I didn't get to take the morning off of work and drive her to school and deliver her to her classroom. These types of memories and moments are so incredible valuable to me, for many reasons.  The days are drastically numbered when I'll be able to participate on this level.   I want to experience, remember and document them.  Most other days, holidays included, I feel perfectly fine celebrating on an alternative day.  But missing out on this one was...so difficult.

For positivity sake, we did get to do a few things together for school! We went shopping for her new lunch box.  She chose one just like her's from last year, only blue.  It came with a water bottle again... she's hoping not to lose it like the last one. We agreed that if we can find a lunch box with a cat on it, we'll get that one. She said to me "Mom, I'm not sure if you quite understand how much I L-O-V-E cats.  CATS!  I love them!"  So... off I go, shopping for a lunchbox with a cat on it.  Or maybe I'll refrain from the retail therapy/love trap and let her be okay with the box we were able to find at the store.  Better yet, maybe I'll find the cat lunch box and she can earn it from her treasure chest of rewards.

We also got to attend her Meet-n-Greet for her new classroom and teacher! It was the friday before school started.  She'd been very nervous about starting second grade and having a new teacher, classroom, and classmates.  We've had endless conversations about what to expect, being okay with feeling nervous, and remembering all the times she's nervous to start, and then things turn out really fun.  At the meet-n-greet we found out that her two best friends are in class with her!!  That was such wonderful, exciting, relieving news.  She got to find her desk, put her name on it and find a chair that was just right for her. 

We explored the classroom a bit and found a fish tank that had no fish yet and a lot of books.  She was excited to find the books.  I found the bin of books about dinosaurs.  I pointed it out thinking she'd take an interest- you know since she's loved dinosaurs for so long... but she just said "Yea... I'm not as into dinosaurs anymore."  I actually think it was just the other day at home (as in two days before) we read one of her favorite dinosaur books together.  Alas, she wrote "Judy Moody" as her first choice for books the teacher can get for the classroom. 

She was also very nervous about her outfit.  She said she was too dressy.  She was happy up until I kept complimenting her on how pretty she looked - then she got increasingly self conscious about her wardrobe choice and wanted to change.  oops. We ended up talking to her into going with what she wanted to do to start with- and I kept my million compliments to myself.  When we got to the school- her very best friend was wearing essentially the same exact outfit.  I'm pretty sure she felt better after that.  Close one. 

Life lessons

I was daydreaming about a time when I was young.  My mom had a quote on the wall in the hallway.  She would always have my brother and I go read if if we were being "difficult".  It was the serinity prayer.  Funnily enough, for the longest time I really had no idea what it meant, I just read it because she told me to.  But the time out always helped my attitude fade.  In time, when I did understand it- it came to gether for me.  There were also a few sayings that she used to say all the time.  It got me thinking... this repetition is one of the many tools we mothers have to instill our values in our childern. I starting thinking about all the times I've talked with friends and they say "My mom used to always say...."  and now it's something they embrace in their lives to be true. 
So... what are the things I always say?  What are the things I want our kids to think of when they say "My mom used to always say..."? 
And... maybe I'll make a sign to put in the hallway to have them go read it during those "moments". 


Feeling scared is just an opportunity to be brave. -or- If you're scared, and you do something anyway... that means you're brave.
Of course this is followed up with the distinction between scared-nervous and scared-danger.  I'm not sure where I picked this up.  I feel like I learned it inside me during those times of talking myself into being brave. 

Fair: When everyone gets what's right for them.
This is a good one for kids.  So many times "It's not fair!!" is a hard one to address.  For me, the old "life isn't fair" answer just isn't enough. 
Breath, think, and do the next right thing.
Okay, I got this from a TV show, but it's just so incredibly good.  It applies to every single situation no matter how small or big. 

You are always responsible for how you act, no matter how you feel.
I've heard this from multiple sources... but I really believe it.  I find myself actually saying "It's okay to be upset/dissapointed but you still need to be nice."  I'm sure this will evolve as Chloe gets older, the the lesson remains.  Another important one.

It's never too late to apologize.
Just so so true. 

Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.
We talk often about this concept- positive thinking, etc.  Believing in yourself. Trying hard.  Not giving up.  And how damaging it is if you believe you can't do something, or give up before you try- and try hard. 
If you say you can't, it means you won't.
This one came from my mom.  It's true.  It's simular to the last one, and reminds us how powerful our words are. 

Home is a safe place- and we are a safe place for you.
We model this and talk about it and enforce it at every opportunity. 

You are: strong, kind, smart, hilarious, capable, important, sweet, lovable, amazing, creative, enough.
An empowering quote on a painting I saw. 

I wonder what Chloe will remember when she's older... maybe there will be things she remembers me saying that I didn't even mean to instill.  Time will tell- and I daydream of those conversations someday in the future. 

Raising elephants

Chloe has a subscription for a kids magazine called Ranger Rick.  She really loves getting them in the mail and looks forward to reading the jokes and having us read the articles with her.  There are always articles and information about animals, preserving species and habitats, and awareness of dangers to animals, etc. 

We were both excited when we got the latest issue of her magazine and there was an article about raising orphaned baby elephants.  An elephant orphanage. 
Chloe knows I adore elephants.  I told her about how I remember when I first starting loving elephants.  I was young- close to her age, and I'd gotten my hands on a kids magazine with an article about them.  I read it over and over.  I couldn't get enough of the pictures, the facts and the stories. 

So, it was special that we were reading her magazine article about elephants together.  As the article went on it described this orphanage and the workers there.  They live day in and day out with the babies.  It describes the personalities and needs of the babies, and how they feed them with giant bottles, have play time, and even sleep with them.  Then it explained how eventually, they take to babies to the wild and help them transition into being in a herd and learning how to survive.  It explained that the elephants don't forget where they came from and will, after years have passed, return to the place they were released and bring their babies and grand babies to "introduce" them to their human friends. 

Chloe was riveted.  Near the end of the article Chloe said to me:
"When I grow up, I want to raise elephants in an orphanage like that." 
I said, "I'd love that, because then I could come visit you and see the elephants all the time." 

Embarrassed

The three of us went to the grocery store and, this time, got one of the smaller carts.  We made our way to the produce section and were all deciding what fresh food to buy.  Chloe, having just gained some confidence the last time we'd been to the store, was manning the cart.  I warned for her to be careful with the cart because it is different than the bigger ones and may not handle her stepping on it. 

She must have forgotten my warning, because after a few moments, she attempted to step up on the cart and promptly fell backward onto the floor, and the cart came down with her.  We were standing right there and quickly caught the cart and helped her up.  A few other shoppers standing close by noticed and showed concern immediately.  When Chloe stood up and saw what a spectacle she'd become she started crying loudly. 

I bent down and asked her if she was hurt anywhere- she shook her head, no.  I asked if she was embarrassed and she nodded her head, yes. Abby and I exchanged a look and  we said "Well, we better get out of here then!!"

We grabbed her hands and started, crouched, hurrying from display to display making our way out of that section of the store. We made a game of "hiding" behind every little thing we could find and rushing to the next- playing on staying out of sight and hoping those strangers would forget what had just happened.  Chloe's spirit immediately lifted.  She started hurrying and giggling and playing with us.  We'd rescued her. 

Once we made it to another part of the store, we slowed down and started shopping again, but continued to play the hiding-behind-things game for a bit.  Chloe loved it, and had long since forgotten about her embarrassment. 

So I think back on this experience:
(Note: It is a strong value of ours that honestly reflecting on yourself and your actions can only make you better.  This is true in life and certainly in parenting.)
First I think: No amount of warning from me would have been able to teach her that those carts can be dangerous better than the memory of actually pulling one down on top of herself.  Of course, I'd rather her never get hurt or experience something dangerous... but there is no denying the lasting effects of a real life lesson learned.  So I shelf the mommy-guilt for that one, feeling glad she wasn't injured in the process.

Then I, of course, think about how we handled the embarrassment factor.
I've been thinking about this a lot, actually- it's been a week since this happened. It was one of those parenting situations that's difficult to plan for; we'd just gone with the moment. I've been pondering weather we "did the right thing".

This is actually small example of a common topic for us.  We quite often ponder and discuss: How do we do the best by Chloe, to help her grow into the most confident version of herself? We definitely know that she is easily embarrassed and being center of attention rarely feels good to her - this being an understatement.  She generally either shuts down or breaks into tears in those moments.   How do we empower her so that she isn't continually tortured by her beautiful temperament? My dream for her is to be peaceful in who she is.  It's a long, ongoing process- watching, helping, guiding her as she grows and developes.  I also know that in a way,  "growing up" is really just a series of very poignant moments.  So I put a lot of weight on instances like these, and feel it is our job, at times, to manufacture those moments if possible.  Did we show her the best thing?  Did we teach the right lesson?  Did we demonstrate who we are to her?  Did we lift her up and celebrate her? I hope so.

To be honest,  I'm not sure that teaching her to "run" from her embarrassing moments is the best overall lesson in handling embarrassment...I mean- what is the best way to handle embarrassment?  Graciously smile and allow yourself to blush a bit, laugh at yourself for doing something silly, and move on confidently?  Maybe- but who is able to do that?  Certainly not most adults I know- certainly not myself all the time.  And how do you explain or expect a young girl to be able to do that, or even understand how to get to that point.  You don't.

So I hold on to this: We showed her that we are there for her and can help lift her up, that embarrassment can be funny and doesn't have to end feeling terrible, and mostly- we will never humiliate her.  I hope that is what is what she holds onto, too. 

Tricky mind vs.Trying mind

Sometimes it can be a challenge to find the right language or the right timing to really harness those "teachable moments".  Chloe  is very good at feelings, listening, and she really wants to do well and learn.  That coupled with our focus on communication and interpersonal awareness makes us a family who talks, reflects and resolves. Usually, its all very Chloe-friendly and she soaks it right up, like the wonderful sponge that she is. Sometimes, I find myself talking too much (too long) and/or using too big of words.  Words Chloe uses regularly, but may not yet understand the full meaning or implication behind them.  Like: responsibility, positive, negative, effort, attitude etc. We can see her, at times really listening and then right around that moment- we lose her.  It's okay- we shift the focus and the energy and try to remember for next time to choose our words and get to the point- quickly and simply.  We also remember that laughing and playing about things are also good ways to teach.  On this day what started off as a somewhat serious conversation with a very frustrated and deflated Chloe, turned into a noisy, fun, game about a very important concept. 

After the whole talk about toilet paper and how to use less she seemed very confident and ready to take on her new habit making. The next morning was a bit of a different story. 

She woke up early to use the bathroom and shortly after I heard her crying and crying from her bed.  I jumped up to go see what was the matter.  When I got in her room she told me that she just couldn't do it.  She would never feel like she got herself dry with less paper.   She was feeling so worried and scared that things would just never be okay.  I layed down with her for a minute and told her how I knew it was hard right now, but someday it would be easy.  She'd done a good job just then, and we could talk more about it later when we all woke up for the day.  I promised that we would help.  That made her feel peaceful enought to go back to sleep. 

When we did get up we were all sitting on Chloe's bed talking about this new challenge.
She was again, very upset and believed that she simply could not do it.  "I just can't.  I can't."   She kept saying.
I really wanted to tell her about how she could if she just believed she could.  This is a super hard concept to teach.  We started talking about thoughts in your head that say "I can't" and how those thoughts can be very "loud".  We were explaining that those are just thoughts in your mind that you can believe or not believe.  Abby said those thoughts were like your mind talking to you and you can listen or not listen.  Those things your mind says are sometimes true and sometimes not true. 
Abby said "That mind can be tricky - Tricky Mind!"
I said - "But your mind has other thoughts too, ones that want you to keep trying... it's your Trying Mind"
...and so the conversation went, where we explained- complete with appropriate voices and antics about Tricky mind and Trying mind what they can "say" to you. 

We talked about how everyone has a tricky mind and a trying mind and they give us thoughts all the time.  We demonstrated how tricky mind can be so loud that you sometimes forget that you even have a trying mind.  We came up with a booming play voice for tricky mind and all the things it says and yells at you. "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" And then we found a silly, meak sounding voice that was trying mind telling us that we can do it if we try. "you can do it..you can do it"

 We played and played with the voices and talked about how they can get louder if we cheer them on.  Any time we say something out loud or think about what the mind is telling us... it gets louder and louder and more difficult to hear the other one. We can cheer on our Tricky mind or cheer on our Trying mind.  Trying mind gets very happy and excited when its being listened too and believed, Tricky mind gets very loud and growl-y sounding when its being believed.
We made sure to be clear:
No matter how loud Tricky mind gets- Trying mind is still whispering to you. 
BUT!! If Trying mind gets loud enough...it can make Tricky mind totally go away!!

Chloe absolutely loved this conversation.  She was completely engaged, giving examples, using the voices, laughing at the battles between the two. 
She was making connections to other things that she had a Tricky mind about. She even made the connection that it was the same with Worries.  She has a book about worries that teaches her about how they come without being invited and the only way they stay around is if you think about them.  It gives examples of how to get rid of a worry by thinking something different or silly. 

She was totally getting it, and we were having a fun time playing with the characters and voices.  She felt better about the bathroom thing and ready to keep trying. 

Later in the day, we'd occasionally say "I think I hear Tricky mind talking..."  Mostly, she wasn't able to fully come away from her tricky thoughts right away, but she knew what we were talking about.  At least now we have a new language to use that makes more sense to her than "positive attitude"....
Next time I'll try cheering on Trying mind and see if that helps, too.

**Note** A couple days after these toilet paper conversations, I went into her bathroom and found her cute little folds of paper on her counter waiting for her to use.  Upon inspection, I noticed that she'd only given herself two squares each...!!  I couldn't help but smile at her ambition, and also understand her frustration even more- my mommy heart bleads.  When she comes back, we'll definately make sure she knows she doesnt have to use only two squares- more like 6 or 8 will be a much easier transition.

Silly time

Abby can always lift spirits.  After the hard talk about the biscuits, they started playing and laughing together- and Chloe recovered from her sad feelings. 

It always feels good to come together.  She sure loves her Abby.

She's Punny

Chloe made a pun.  On purpose.  It was so adorable.  She was very proud of herself and started laughing right with us.  We all laughed so hard together and kept trying to make more puns. 

We were making some pizza dough bread and talking about Kneeding the bread and how that is a different word than "need".  We talked about the different spelling and meaning and a few other words that sound the same but are different. 

Chloe got quiet for a minute, concentrating on her task...

Then she said:

"Do we really 'NEED' to be doing this??"

Biscuits, no thank you

For breakfast we decided to make some biscuits.  We got our cookie cutters out to make shapes and all picked the ones we wanted.  Chloe measured and poured all the ingredients, finding the fractions of cups and filling perfectly to the line every time.  We all drank some "bakers juice"- (chocolate soy milk) to give us just the boost we needed. 

We were all very excited when we sat down at the table to eat our breakfast of fruit salad and home made biscuits.  After a few minutes, Chloe got very quiet and stopped eating.  I asked her if something was bothering her, and she said there was, but she didn't know how to talk about it.  She had her head down and seemed very sad.  I asked her if she wanted to write it down on a piece of paper, and then we could talk about it.  She immediatly said she could do that and went to get a piece of paper.  She came down from her room and sat at the counter to write her note. 

Then she quietly and carefully walked over to me and handed me her thoughts. 
"_______________"
(I'm not happy with how the biscuits turned out and I feel bad about not liking them)

I read her note and hugged her onto my lap.  I told her I understood her feelings, and why she felt bad.  I told her I was happy she could write her feelings to share them.  I asked if she was okay if I showed Abby her note so we could all talk together.  She walked over to Abby and melted into her hug.  We told her we love her, and it was totally okay if she doesn't like the biscuits.  We tried to tell her that we were so happy to have the time baking together that it's okay if we don't love what we made.  We told her she was very sweet to be concerned about our feelings.  Abby told her a secret: biscuits aren't her favorite thing either- but because she has so many memories from baking them as a kid, she wanted to share it with Chloe. 
At first, Chloe was so sad about not liking them she just couldn't feel good about having the experience with us even after we assured her that she hadn't hurt our feelings and she didn't have to eat them.  Her spirits started to lift, nonetheless and we moved on to have a great morning. 
My mommy-heart melts when she is so sweet and delicate.  I experience her feelings as so deep and raw... I hope to always protect them.  I don't want to harden her.  We take every chance we get to make the safe sanctuary for her to grow into her true self. 
Even though, in the moment she couldn't  be happy about the experience after not liking the biscuits... I hope the memory with us is still a good one.

The TP Delema

We had an "issue with tissue" come up this weekend... and we felt like we'd harnessed a few teachable moments pretty well:
So...Chloe uses a lot of toilet paper.  I mean a LOT.  I'd been noticing it, so when she came and asked for some more paper I used the opportunity to have a little talk with her in her bathroom.  I showed her a trick on how to measure some TP so she gets enough but not too much.  She seemed a bit worried that she wouldn't be able to change her habit, but I told her to just try. 
A day and a half passes.  I was in the kitchen.  Chloe comes up to me and says: "Mom, I have a problem, and I need your help with something."
"Sure, what is it?"
"Well...I know I'm supposed to be using less toilet paper, but I just keep forgetting... I'm trying but...I'm out of paper again." 
Inside I'm saying: WHA!!??  NO WAY!!  A whole roll in a day-and-a-half!!!???  Yikes!
But I actually said: " Okay, well- That does seem like you're still using quite a bit. Thanks for coming and asking for help, sweetie.  We can figure this out together." 

I walked around the counter to talk with her.  About that time, Abby heard what was going on and came to join our conversation.  She told Chloe she was surprised at how much she'd used in the last couple days, and also told her that she was proud of her for coming to ask for help.  We reassured her that she'd been trying, and that's good, and that it would take some practice to change.  We asked her if she had any ideas on how she could remember to use less, and we offered her some ideas of our own.  She explained that she was very worried that if she used less, she wouldnt be able to get herself dry. 

So... we dove in.   Abby went and got a roll of paper and some water.  She poured a few drops of water on the table and we all practiced "wiping" the water with various numbers of squares and various folding techniques.  Chloe was really interested and learning and got very motivated to continue trying. 

Together we determined that we could, if we needed to, wipe with as little as two squares- but that we could use as many as 6-8 and still be way better off than a whole handful.  Certianly, any time you'd need to use more in order to be clean or dry, that is the best choice. 

It seemed a little silly at moments talking in such detail about these things... But it was just what Chloe needed, and thus... completely worth it. 

Now that she had some confidence, we wanted to help her remember in the moment.  We suggested that she break off some sections of paper and put them on the counter in her bathroom.  That way she could just reach for a section instead of for the roll. She was happy with this solution and went upstairs to make some sections for herself. 

I love that she feels like she can come to us for help for things like this - and anything really. That we will listed to, help, and empower her. 

Mice for dinner

Abby made mice for dinner. Yep.  She followed a bit of creative motivation and Chloe and I came home to her in the kitchen - not an uncommon event.
She hollered: "Wait! Don't come in here yet!  I've got a surprise for you!"
So we waited excitedly until she was ready. 

When Abby presented us our dinner, we had some delicious BBQ'd buffalo burgers with smiley face buns, baby PURPLE potatoes, and ...a plate full of mice!  Strawberries with almond ears, clove noses, and spaghetti tails.  Our mice even had triangles of cheese to snack on. 
Chloe was so excited about her fun, friendly dinner. 
But that wasnt the end of the surprise!  About half way through the dinner Abby said: "Chloe, did you know that when you eat mice, your mouth turns blue?"
She was doubtful and surprised.  So Abby and I both showed our tongues and we all started laughing.  She ran to the bathroom to see her evidence. 
Sure enough, she'd eaten a mouse!  ...giggles.
(Not long after, She discovered the blue food coloring hidden on the clove-noses.)

We are all excited for the next installment of fun family food! 

Shy observation

I picked Chloe up from her YMCA camp. As we were walking out to the car she told me that she's noticed something about her shyness.  She sais she's only shy when me or another parent or grandparent is around.  She's not shy when she's on her own.

I've noticed this before- She is there, well adjusted all day, then when we pick her up, she doesn't want to say good-bye or wave or talk to anyone. They always seem a bit confused as to why she is suddenly not talking to them as before.  I'm sure it was this transition dynamic that sparked her to notice this about herself. 

I asked her a couple questions about it and told her it was good that she noticed something about her feelings.  She didn't seem to know why this happened, or how I could help her feel better while she was around me.  But I told her I'd try.  And I do, I will.  I didn't continue to press the conversation, I just wanted to leave it where she felt good about observing herself.  An important lesson. 

There is a balance there, somewhere, betweeen pushing her too much, and "enabeling" her too much in these social situations.  Abby and I strive to empower her, and stoke the fire from within- while also teaching her about social graces.  Admittedly, this is one of the balances that has been challenging for us to find.  We hope that at the end of the day, she knows we are on her side.

That Girl's Got Jokes

Chloe has a long way to go before she becomes an award winning actress, but what she lacks in believability, she more than makes up for in her dramatic displays. ;)

So, this evening I said something that she didn't like very much, and she let out one of her signature fake cries. (If you've ever spent more than an hour with a 7-year old girl, then you know what I'm talking about.) It's like an overly dramatic death scene - you saw that guy get shot in the heart, and, maybe at first you felt a little concerned about him, but now that he's sputtering, stumbling, and spewing repent...you're over it. A child's fake cry is eerily similar.

So, anyways, while I was "looking at the ceiling", Kendra called Chloe over to her and asked, "Honey, you sound sad. Are you real sad or just pretend sad?" Chloe said that she wasn't sure and Kendra scooped her up onto her lap. Then Kendra made eye contact with Chloe and said, "Maybe I should tell you a little joke...to...ge-". As soon as the word "joke" crossed Kendra's lips, Chloe was completely buckled down in laughter. She couldn't stop and it only got more uncontrollable as Kendra implored her to "go ahead and stop laughing if you can...oh yeah, that's okay, I'll wait right here while you finish up." ;) When Chloe settled down just a bit, Kendra would say "joke!" and it would start all over again.

When you're an active parent (as we are), it can be easy to over think things. Sometimes, you just gotta stop thinking all at once and ride a different wave for a bit. I was happy to see Kendra and Chloe riding the same silly wave tonight.

Her vote counts for Pride.

One of the things we've wanted to do for Chloe is to be the first to talk to her about Gay and Lesbian issues, laws, etc.  We want to be sure that she has confidence and knowledge around these topics before any unsupporting people talk to her about them.  So, one afternoon, I started a conversation with her about what it means to be gay, and that she has a home with two lesbian moms.  These are things we've talked about before, but I wanted to start off on common ground.  She remembered well, and approached the entire conversation as if it were no big deal.  I was relieved, of course, and didn't try to make it any more of an issue.  Then I asked her if she knew that some people didn't think that lesbians or gay men should be couples. She said she'd heard about that before. She told me that she knew they were wrong, because she loves our family, and she said "I don't really care if Abby is a girl or a boy, I love her just the way she is- and I love our family just the way it is."  I smiled and squeezed her.  I told her I love our family, too. Then I asked her if  she knew that right now it is actually illegal for us to get married.  She whipped her head toward me with big eyes and said "huh?" in a little squeak.  She was so surprised. I told her that years ago, a lot of those people who didnt want gays and lesbians, made a law that said we couldn't get married like everyone else. I explained to her about the laws and how getting married isnt just about having a wedding.  Then we talked about how now, all the people who know it's right to allow everyone to get married are working really hard to change the law so it is right and fair. She was immediatly relieved and happy. We talked about the upcoming vote in November and how it will be wonderful for everyone to be able to marry anyone they love, no matter what. 
I explained voting and how we need to make sure everyone who wants the law to change absolutely needs to vote.  She said, "How do you vote?  Raise your hand?"  I giggled and explained it to her.  When I told her that anyone who is older than 18 can vote, she was surprised and dissapointed that she couldn't.  I assured her that Abby and I would take all of her voting energy and add it to our votes.  That way hers could count through ours.  She knew it was a bit silly, but she felt a bit better. 

It was a short conversation, but an important one.  We are making sure to talk to her about important stuff in short talks but frequently enough for her to remember the last time.  Each conversation has a little bit more detail and she is doing really well. 

A new family favorite

Abby heard about the idea to make home made pizza on the BBQ. So we decided to give it a shot! We got a simple dough recipe from a friend with minimal ingredients (yay for no chemicals and preservatives), then made a stop at the store for some toppings.

Abby and Chloe flattened pieces of the dough with some flour, and Abby BBQ'd the crust. Meanwhile, Chloe and I got the toppings ready. We all came inside and topped our dough before putting it back on the grill to finish up.

And it was SO good. It was among the best pizza we've ever had. And we had a great time making it together! We all agreed that it is now one of our favorite family dinners.

Then, with the leftover dough, we gathered some dessert ingredients and made some individual dessert pizzas! I used cookie butter and some sugared oats for mine, Abby used butter and strawberry/vanilla sugared one of her ideas, and Chloe decided to squeeze some of her liquid strawberry lollipop on hers, then added marshmallows, mint cookies, sugar, and cinnamon. It looked...thorough. We also made a family one that we all thought of together... Cookie butter, crumbled nutter butter cookies and marshmallows. Chloe got nervous about her own very creative dessert pizza, and all of its varied toppings. She did end up eating a couple small pieces of it, but she mostly enjoyed the family concoction.

Watermelon

She never gets tired of watermelon.

A good helper

I remember pushing the grocery cart for my mom. I always thought she was being nice and letting me do it. Now I know whats true! She was happy the day my brother and I were big enough to push for her and glad to pass it along. I had that day yesterday. It's so helpful to have someone so enthusiastically following you with the cart while you shop with your hands free, and at the same time have your kid occupied and entertained!! At first Chloe thought she couldn't do it, but with a little bit of encouragement, she was excited. She was playing a lot, but the store wasn't too busy and I didn't want to ruin the moment. She needs practice on turning, stopping, and going slow...okay, it was kind of a mess a couple times, but she did good for her first try and considering the fact that she can barely see over the handle. I even let her "ride" on the back a bit as she was pushing. I remember my brother and I got pretty rowdy with those things sometimes. I don't think I'd be able to handle watching her do anything super dangerous, but I was smiling watching her have fun and mess up and practice. She was getting grins and smiles and words of encouragement from other shoppers.
One of the rules we have when we are out at stores is that she can't ask for things. If she does, the answer is no. This rule has one exception: if she's asking for fresh food. We will always buy fresh food for her within reason, so to be sure it won't go bad. This time she asked for watermelon, oranges, bananas, a cucumber, and kale. We got one of the little seedless watermelons, and considering we no longer get plastic bags from the store I of course, forget my reusable bags, we carried our food in our hands. I have Chloe her watermelon she wanted. About half way to the van she wanted me to carry it and let me know how tired she was getting. But I had her stick it out. When we got home she started asking if I'd take the watermelon, then she stopped and said she was going to take the melon and the cucumber at the same time. I told her I was glad she changed her mind and decided to try hard.

Molly

Chloe's got a new baby cousin! She was so excited while they were at the hospital.  We were waiting and waiting to find out if she was a boy or a girl.  Chloe said "I really want it to be a girl, but I think it's going to be a boy." She smiled so so big when I told her the news. 

And such a sweet sweet baby.

Chloe hasn't had a chance to meet Molly yet, but Abby and I have swiftly fallen in love. 

It will be fun to begin collecting stories of Chloe and her cousin together.