I picked Chloe up from her YMCA camp. As we were walking out to the car she told me that she's noticed something about her shyness. She sais she's only shy when me or another parent or grandparent is around. She's not shy when she's on her own.
I've noticed this before- She is there, well adjusted all day, then when we pick her up, she doesn't want to say good-bye or wave or talk to anyone. They always seem a bit confused as to why she is suddenly not talking to them as before. I'm sure it was this transition dynamic that sparked her to notice this about herself.
I asked her a couple questions about it and told her it was good that she noticed something about her feelings. She didn't seem to know why this happened, or how I could help her feel better while she was around me. But I told her I'd try. And I do, I will. I didn't continue to press the conversation, I just wanted to leave it where she felt good about observing herself. An important lesson.
There is a balance there, somewhere, betweeen pushing her too much, and "enabeling" her too much in these social situations. Abby and I strive to empower her, and stoke the fire from within- while also teaching her about social graces. Admittedly, this is one of the balances that has been challenging for us to find. We hope that at the end of the day, she knows we are on her side.
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