Monday, August 6, 2012

Chores and attitude

So, we have a few big projects we are working on in the yard this summer, extending the deck, building a fence and shed. Needless to say we are working hard to make progress on the construction as well as keeping up in the house chores.
What Chloe is beginning to learn is: when the work load gets greater on the parents, the work load gets greater on the kid, too. In a good, wholesome, character building sort of way, of course.
We'd woken up, made breakfast started laundry and I asked Chloe to please FOLD her laundry, and put it away. She wasn't too happy about me adding the folding part onto her chore load, and she let me know abut it.
"But THATS not part of my normal chores!!!" She yelled at me in the kind of whining cry that I think comes in the manual for young children.
I admit, I was a bit offended at her attitude. I mean, I do so much for her. And now, she complains when I ask her to do her OWN laundry!? So I pause and say
"I know. And they are your clothes, you know how to do it, and today, we are all doing more, so I'm asking you to do more."
Normally, this would have been enough to change her perspective. But this time, she continued to resist, complain and yes, cry at the absurdity of having more chores to do.
So, I did what any good parent would do. I firmly enforced the boundary she was testing. I turned up the heat. I raised my voice and told her that we all live in this house together. I let her see and hear the frustration in me over her not responding to my calm and fair requests, her unwillingness to pull her own weight and step up to a change in routine. I scolded her when she interrupted me disrespectfully, and explained my intensity. I told her what I was going to do, and what I expected her to do, first second and third. She sat, wide eyed, in front of me and listened. I turned around and left her there to decide what to do next.
I went to work. About a half an hour later she came and found me. She said:
"I folded my clothes and put them away like you asked. Then I also cleaned my toilet, washed my sink and counter, cleaned off the stairs, and brought down my dirty laundry- and is there anything else I can do or help you with, Mom?"
...I smiled.
I knelt down and put her on my knee. I thanked her and told her I was proud of her for changing her attitude. I gave her a big squeeze and I could tell she felt good about it too.
And I definitely found something she could help me with.
We hauled bricks and wood. Together.

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